


Three Houses: The Mercenaries

by Anonymous



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: AU, Elements of Crack, Featuring Hubert the Piranha Plant, Gen, ngl this whole thing is basically "what if I wanted to write a dramedy with Byleth and Jeralt?", someone will get that and know EXACTLY who uploaded this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:29:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27619070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: The war between the Church of Seiros and the Adrestian Empire has begun in earnest.Outside of the grand conflict, Jeralt Eisner, his son, Byleth, and his mercenary company stay on the move, taking whatever jobs they can get while trying their hardest to stay out of the war.All the Eisners want is to survive. Yet for a reason only known to the Goddess herself, a voice in Byleth's head, calling itself Sothis, demands that they do something here, save a person there. What are Sothis' intentions? And who are the people she claims Byleth should know?
Relationships: Jeralt Reus Eisner & My Unit | Byleth, My Unit | Byleth & Leonie Pinelli
Kudos: 6
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Contract I: Varley

**Author's Note:**

> This was sitting on my hard drive for months, so here. It's practically crack, but I'd rather have it online than languishing on my computer doing nothing. Enjoy!

His eyes cracked open, and the ceiling above him slowly swam into focus.

  
  


Stone. Not wood. He wasn’t in his room at the inn anymore. Not again. He was back here.

  
  


He turned his head to the side. Yeah, he was back here again. A stone throne, cracks running along it with chunks missing from the top. The girl was sat upon it, her long green hair trailing down the length of her body while her emerald eyes were staring into him, waiting for him.

“Are you awake?”

"I am,"

The girl frowned in response. "You took your time. The world is in turmoil, and you're here sleeping. At least Linhardt made sure to nap when he wasn't needed." She fell silent for a moment, running a hand down her mane as she thought. Her voice turned apprehensive as she spoke again. "Do you remember Linhardt?"

His answer was the same as always.

“No.”

Her frown deepened, and she started talking to herself then. Said something about why he can’t remember. He didn't remember what she said. Only that she got annoyed because she thought he wasn’t listening. Like he didn’t have to listen to her chattering away in his mind every day. Talking about places he's not heard of, names he’s never even heard of. She never explained any of it to him.

The girl, Sothis, yawned. She appeared to have tuckered herself out with all the complaining and theorising. She said she was going back to sleep. Good for her. He needed to sleep too.

The throne room faded away to nothingness, and he returned to slumber once more.

* * *

  
  


“Hey. Time to wake up.”

Registering that the voice did not belong to Sothis, Byleth woke up. A candle had been lit nearby, illuminating the room. A wooden ceiling above him, slightly rotten, told him he was back in the inn again. He turned his head to the doorway, where Jeralt was standing.

  
  


Jeralt recognised the pensive look in his child’s eyes. Asked if it was a dream or a vision. Byleth answered that it was a dream, and the look changed from pensive to confused. Definitely a dream.

He knew his son got visions sometimes. An arrow shot from nowhere deflected by his shield. A bandit’s attempt at a backstab thwarted by an arrow fired at their neck by Byleth. Pulling Leonie, their newest recruit, out of the way of a thrown javelin that he couldn’t have known was coming. He never figured his kid to be an oracle.

Speaking of their newest recruit, Leonie walked out of her room, gear already packed. She’d taken to the mercenary life well. Then again, he’d expect nothing less from one he’d trained. She poked her head into the room Byleth was staying in and rolled her eyes as he got to his feet.

"You're not even up yet? Come on, you're letting the captain down," she said. Not waiting for a response, Leonie set off down the stairs to unite with the rest of the troop waiting outside. Jeralt moved to follow her but stopped as Byleth asked him a question.

“Have you heard of someone called Linhardt?”

Jeralt paused. Thought. Shook his head. He didn't know that name, and he told Byleth as such, but said he would look into the name. Perhaps their next employer could provide them with some information about some of the names Byleth had "dreamt" of.

Then again, that would depend on the job they were being hired to do. The war between the Adrestian Empire and the Church of Seiros had started over two years ago and had been going ever since. Jeralt had done his best to keep his troop out of the war, and the goddess had been kind so far, allowing them to fill a niche that Fódlan had needed. So many mercenary bands had become embroiled in the war. Every count, every margrave and every noble needed their knights to stay on guard, lest the war come crashing down on their doorstep. In times such as this, a group of mercenaries without any particular allegiance had become gifts from the goddess.

Which was why they were in Varley territory currently. Jeralt had heard rumours that Count Varley was looking to hire as many mercenary groups as possible to hunt for something that he had lost. His luck had held, for they were the first band to arrive near the Varley estate. Jeralt was to meet with Count Varley to discuss the contract within an hour.

Byleth finally left his room, and began to make his way down the stairs, Jeralt walking down after him. They’d already discussed what he and Leonie were to do while he was meeting with the count. After reaffirming they knew what they were to do, he departed the inn for the Varley estate.

“The captain wants us to restock our food supplies and take my spear to a blacksmith to have it repaired.” The annoyed look Leonie threw Byleth’s way didn’t phase him. It was better that a weapon broke by an enemy’s attack than a person, Jeralt always said. Spears could be easily replaced. “His meeting will only take a short while, so we don’t have long.”

Byleth nodded and walked out of the inn in the opposite direction that Jeralt had taken. The market, as busy and loud and cramped as they usually were, lay ahead. He already could tell where the stalls with food supplies were. Leonie split off from behind him, headed towards another section of the market where the blacksmith’s shop was.

“Hmm…”

Sothis chirped in his head, now awake and refreshed. Great. Byleth filled her in on what was going on as he walked and began looking over the various foods laid out on the stalls. Not much variety here, but they were looking for long term sustenance, not treats for them all.

This was one of few areas where having a tiny child sitting in your head came in handy, even if Sothis hated him thinking of her as a child. She provided an extra pair of eyes, appraising the foods to see if there was any damage, any rotten, any different. Any way to cut the prices down before Byleth could even begin the process of haggling. Once they had collected what they needed, Sothis pointed out ways to convince the seller to sell for less. The stall owner seemed frustrated, and Sothis prodded Byleth to get them to talk.

"It's my husband, you see," they began. "He's been coming home drunk more and more often..."

The owner talked for a while.

A very long while.

Finally, they finished talking, and Byleth asked ("Kindly!" Sothis chided him) for a lower price on the food. Feeling bad over ranting at a random customer, they accepted, and Byleth was able to buy the food supplies for half the original price.

“You’re welcome,” Sothis said with a smug tone as they walked away.

Byleth ignored her.

"It was with my help that we were able to get it for less gold, you know," she continued. "What would you do without me?"

Byleth continued to ignore her. Even as she continued to prattle on about how it was because of her they had gotten the bargain that they did. Goddess above, did she ever shut up?

"Hey!" Leonie ran over to him as he left the market. "They said it won't take too long to fix, and it won't cost too much. Thank the goddess it was a clean break."

A clean break meant that it would be ready to go before the next battle. Good. Sothis quietened down for a while. In her place, Leonie chattered away about her annoyance about the blacksmith not recognising her moniker.

Byleth rubbed his head before answering Leonie, for they'd had this discussion already. "Jeralt and I earned our reputations. You will earn yours in time."

When they had arrived back at the inn, Jeralt was waiting for them. His lack of reaction that Leonie had taken to carrying one of the bags of food Byleth had bought spoke volumes about how serious the job was.

“Count Varley’s daughter, Bernadetta von Varley, has gone missing." He explained in a hushed voice. "We need to find her and bring her back home alive.”

"Bernadetta?" Leonie repeated. "I know that name..."

Sothis perked up. A vision of a young girl formed in Byleth's head, along with a familiar stab of pain that made him clutch at his head. Jeralt looked at him with concern.

“Another vision?”

Byleth nodded "A girl. Purple, messed up hair. Terrified expression. Very paranoid."

"That sounds like Bernie. She was part of my year at Garreg Mach," Leonie interjected.

Jeralt nodded. “That’s the description Count Varley gave me. Good, it means we know what to look for. She can’t have gotten too far.” Jeralt turned away from Byleth and Leonie and set off towards his horse. Leonie ran after the captain, the rest of the troop following behind her.

Byleth leaned on the wall of the inn, still clutching his head.

"I am sorry for the pain, Byleth."

"It's nothing. But why?"

“I remember her. I do not know why, but I do.

"You do not, or you do not want to tell me?”

Sothis gave him no answer, and with a shake of his head, he set off after the rest of his troop.

  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

“Byleth, you’re fishing today. Leonie, you’re hunting.”

Byleth and Leonie nodded to Jeralt, a competitive smile growing on Leonie’s face as she turned to Byleth. “Want to see who can bring back the most game?”

“This ain’t a competition,” Jeralt cut in before Byleth could answer. “You only need to bring back enough for a couple of days. Finding Count Varley’s daughter is what is important here.”

“I will look for her the best that I can!”

“Good. Kid?”

“I will as well.” Byleth grabbed the fishing rod from next to Leonie. He set off walking away from the troop, leaves crunching beneath his feet.

“So, no to the competition?” Leonie asked, falling into step with the older mercenary.

“No.”

“Are you saying that because you lost last time?”

“No.” Byleth prodded Sothis into silence when the girl started to laugh in his head.

“Sure you aren’t.” Leonie bumped Byleth with her shoulder, before breaking away to walk towards the trees. “Good luck with the fishing!”

Byleth didn’t bother to respond, shielding his eyes as he emerged from the trees to where the pond was.

He had been right. Ripples spread across the water as many fish swam about. The chill from the weather of the Etheral Moon did not seem to be causing them any problems at all. Good. It meant that getting enough for everyone would not take very long at all. This cold was enough to make even him shiver.

His line bobbed gently in the water. Sometimes, it would wriggle, as some unlucky fish took the bait and tried to escape from Byleth. Every time, the fish would fail. Byleth would reel it in, gut it, and add it to the pile with a touch of salt to keep it fresh.

He stayed in that routine for a while. Cast line. Reel in fish. Kill and salt. Cast line. Reel in fish. Kill and salt. Until-

"Behind you."

Byleth closed his eyes, and Sothis showed him what she could see.

A girl with purple hair, clad in a dirty blue hoodie and black shorts, emerged from the bushes to his left. One of her legs dragged along behind her as she limped towards him. Her eyes were set on the pile of fish at his side.

"That's Bernadetta," Sothis said. "She looks terrible."

_Her leg looks broken,_ he thought grimly. Sothis hummed in agreement. She continued to observe the girl pathetically attempt to sneak towards them. _But she's after the fish._

"If we call out to her, we will scare her. We need to let her come to us. Keep fishing! She'll need quite a few from the look of her."

_I'd ask how you knew, but you wouldn't answer me anyway,_ he thought, and bit back a resigned sigh.

Byleth opened his eyes to see his line had started wriggling again, and he reeled the fish in and added it to the pile next to him. He'd caught enough for the troop anyway.

He adopted a new routine as he continued to fish. Cast line. Reel in fish. Kill and salt. Observe the girl. Cast line. Reel in fish. Kill and salt. Observe the girl.

The next fish he caught, he gutted and salted, and added in a touch of fire magic to roast it before adding it to the pile. He prayed to the goddess (“I’m _right here_ , you know,” Sothis complained) for the next few fish to be too small for him.

They weren’t.

The next fish was a fighter, stronger than any he had encountered thus far. Byleth fought his hardest, but the fish was too strong. It pulled Byleth off of the bank and into the freezing water.

Mercifully, it was not that deep, but as Byleth got back to his feet in the water-

“What is she doing?!”

Byleth heard someone splash into the water behind him. Judging from Sothis’ alarmed screech, he assumed it to be the Bernadetta girl. Whoever it was had grabbed hold of his collar and started trying to pull him out of the water.

“Byleth, she should not be in the pond in this weather!”

“ _You sound like a mother,_ ” Byleth thought as he pushed his feet along the slit lining the bottom of the pond.

“This is not the time for this! Hurry and get the both of you out of the water before she falls ill!”

“ _Alright._ ” They were out of the pond now anyway. Byleth stood up, letting the water drain out of his jacket and turned to the girl, who was shivering violently from the cold water. “Thank you.”

The girl said nothing, staring at him with a wary look in her eye even as she shivered. Byleth didn’t say anything either, instead turning away from her and walking over to the pile of fish he had caught earlier.

“Take a fish for you as well,” Sothis told him. “She will only eat if you eat too.”

Byleth didn’t answer. He grabbed a second fish and cooked it with a fire spell before retrieving the one he had cooked earlier and bringing it over to the girl. “Here.”

The girl looked at the fish with hunger in her eyes, but vigorously shook her head. “No! It’s a trick! You’re gonna poison me because I saved your life!”

_What._

“Jeralt did warn you that she was very paranoid, Byleth,” Sothis said in an exasperated tone.

“I’m not going to poison you. I’ll eat one too if you do.”

“But what if the one you’re eating isn’t poisoned? What if this is a trap to get me to eat the other one because you poisoned that one?” Bernadetta was talking more to herself than to Byleth at this point. “What if they’re both poisoned, and you want to kill us both?!”

“Why would I poison myself?”

“So that I would poison myself with the other one!”

“That makes no sense, why would I poison someone I haven’t met before?”

“Well…” Bernadetta paused for a moment. “Maybe you’re a wandering murderer!”

Byleth blinked. “A wandering-“ he spluttered in surprise before shaking his head. “Do you want the fish or not?”

“Um…” Bernadetta’s head sagged in resignation. “Please.”

Slowly, trying not to spook her, Byleth walked over to where Bernadetta was standing and held out her fish to her.

“Thank you…”

Bernadetta was shivering. How had she gotten this far in such little clothing? “Your leg…” Byleth began.

“It’s fine! I can walk just fine!” Bernadetta let out a whimper of pain and almost dropped her fish as she tried to put weight on her leg. Byleth winced. “See? I’m fine!”

“It’s broken.”

“It isn’t.”

“It is.”

“It isn’t! You’re trying to trick me!”

“I’m not. I can heal it for you.” Byleth produced a few sparks of white magic to prove it. “But you need to come with me, my father-“

“I knew it! You were tricking me! You want to take me to the Kingdom as a political prisoner! I knew I saw Kingdom soldiers nearby!”

“Kingdom soldiers?” That was a worrying revelation. If there were forces belonging to the Holy Kingdom nearby, there was a chance of conflict erupting between the Empire and the Kingdom. They would need to move. “I’m with the Blade Breaker, not the Kingdom.”

“You’re with Captain Jeralt?” Bernadetta turned pale, and he felt Sothis’ glare burrowing into his head. Right, he’d forgotten about his father’s reputation. “What does he want with me…?”

“Byleth…” Sothis warned.

“If you’d come back to our camp, we can explain everything and give you treatment for your leg. I promise, we won’t turn you over to the Kingdom.”

“You promise?” Bernadetta looked at him hesitantly.

“It is a good thing I am here to help, for you would not have known what to do otherwise,” Sothis said with her familiar smug attitude. Byleth prodded her to be quiet.

“I promise.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Squick warning: Bernie gets her leg fixed. Scroll down to "They had both forgotten that the person the Count had hired them to find was lying in front of them." to get past it.

“Ready?”

Jeralt nodded. Byleth cast a fire spell on the pile of twigs they had created to start a fire. They started burning, and the two set to work adding the chunks of fish and deer to the broth. Jeralt took up the task of stirring the pot once they had added enough meat. Byleth chanced a glance up. Nothing out of the ordinary. The other mercenaries in the troop were patrolling the area for any possible threats.

_Such as the Kingdom_ , Byleth’s mind supplied.

“Someone's watching you.”

Byleth twitched in alarm and closed his eyes. Behind him, he saw Leonie tending to Bernadetta’s leg. The smaller girl stared at where he and Jeralt were sat, watching the fire burn.

_“Could you have said it was the girl?”_

“No. You should always be on your guard.”

_“Don’t I know it.”_ Byleth sighed and stood up from the fire. “How is her leg?” he asked as he walked over to where Leonie and Bernadetta were sat down.

“It needs resetting.” Leonie grimaced as Bernadetta looked at her in alarm. “That much I can tell.”

“Alright.” Byleth shrugged off his jacket and passed it to Bernadetta. “Bite into that. This is going to hurt for a moment.”

“Hurt? You’re going to hurt me? I knew it! I shouldn’t have-“ Bernadetta’s babbling cut off as she let out a yelp of pain from Byleth prodding her leg.

“Sorry, Bernadetta, but we need to do this,” Leonie said. “We can’t heal your leg otherwise.”

“R-Right, my leg.” Bernadetta took the jacket from Byleth and bit into the sleeve with a reluctant sigh. Byleth and Leonie shared a look. “Tell me when you’re going to do it so I can-MMMMMMPH!”

"Sorry. You'd have tensed and made it harder if we did." Byleth gently set Bernadetta’s leg down and shot a pulse of healing magic into her leg. “There. Keep your weight off it for a day and it should heal.” He stood up from next to Bernadetta and moved to sit next to Leonie, watching Jeralt as he cooked.

“How did you manage to find Bernadetta before I did?”

“I don’t know.” In Byleth’s peripheral view, he saw Leonie roll her eyes. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“Leonie.”

“Byleth.”

“What?”

“You would find her while fishing.”

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I wish I had your luck. You always find things first."

“It wasn't luck, I already told you. She was after the fish.”

“I’m sorry!” Both Byleth and Leonie looked over at Bernadetta in surprise, who was hiding behind her hands. “I was hungry; I couldn’t find any food nearby…”

They had both forgotten that the person the Count had hired them to find was lying in front of them. Both shared a glance and looked at the girl. Both sheepishly rubbed their heads. “It’s fine, we’re glad we found you anyway,” Leonie said.

Byleth merely looked between Jeralt and Bernadetta in silent response. He zoned out as Leonie started to talk away again, fixating on whatever it was Sothis had to say.

“You could stand to be less rude.”

_“Says the person who constantly hurts my head.”_

“And I am sorry for it, but I need you to listen to me.” Sothis left his head materialized in front of him. She sat down to block his view of Jeralt. “I am only trying to help.”

“ _I know_.” Byleth shifted, focussing on Sothis instead. “ _Staring contest._ ”

“Don't change the subject."

" _I'm not._ "

"You wish to compete against me in a staring contest?”

“ _Sure. Jeralt’s going to be a while._ ”

The two lapsed into silence, glaring at each other as best as they could. Both determined to be the victor in this round, the sounds around them growing mute.

“ _I’ll win this time for certain._ ”

“So confident. Are you sure?”

“ _I am. There is nothing to distract me this time.”_

“-eth. Byleth!”

“Or not.” Sothis smirked. “You’re wanted.”

_“Right.”_ Byleth blinked, and Sothis was gone. Jeralt had gotten up during his contest. “Father?”

“You were staring off into the distance again.” He held out a bowl to Byleth. “It’s ready.”

“Thank you.” Byleth took the offered bowl as Jeralt set the other one down by Bernadetta. “Do you need help sitting up?”

“N-no! I’m okay.” Bernadetta pushed herself up into a sitting position. “Thank you, Mr Eisner.”

“Jeralt,” Byleth corrected. “Being called ‘Mr Eisner’ makes him feel older than he is.”

“Oh no. I didn’t mean to-“

_Oh no,_ Byleth thought as Bernadetta began to panic again. “It is fine, you didn’t know better, please just eat your food, he isn’t insulted by at all…”

It didn’t help. Leonie attempted to calm her down. That didn’t help either. Sothis gave Byleth instructions on how to calm her down. That didn’t help either.

Byleth passed Sothis' instructions along to Leonie. Between them, Bernadetta calmed down enough to start eating the food. Leonie started eating her food, and Byleth returned to his thoughts. Or rather, his thoughts and Sothis’ running commentary.

_The Kingdom’s forces are nearby. That means we need to prepare to leave the territory with haste._

“But what of the girl?”

“ _What of her?”_

“We can’t leave her with her father.”

“ _She agreed to go back to him. He's paying us to bring her back.”_

“Because she's injured! Byleth, you cannot be serious.”

_“Jeralt took on the job. Unless you can convince him, she has to go back._ ”

“I will convince him. But I need your help.”

Byleth sighed, waving off Bernadetta when the girl looked at him in alarm. “Never eat anything other than fish,” he grumbled in response to the incoming question.

“Oh.”

Byleth turned back to his thoughts, to Sothis. “ _I won’t get a say in this, will I?”_

“No.”

“ _Of course not_.”

…

Guards and soldiers ran around as they approached the Varley estate. People moved barricades and weapons moved to cover vulnerable areas in the village. The sight of the villagers blocking up their homes told the group that Bernadetta had been right. Kingdom soldiers were nearby.

“Father…”

Bernadetta hid behind Jeralt as they approached the front gate. Count Varley stood in front of his estate, mouth locked into a hard grimace.

“Count Varley!” Jeralt called as he dismounted his horse. “We have found your daughter.”

“Good.” The Count scrutinised Bernadetta as he walked towards them, flanked by his guards. “Pay him. Have her returned to her quarters. I will deal with her later.”

“Byleth…!” Sothis hissed, tapping her foot in a frantic manner,

“ _I know.”_ Byleth waited for the guard to hand over the pay to Jeralt before stepping forward. "Count Varley," Byleth began, blocking the guards from reaching Bernadetta. "I must ask that you hear me out.”

“And who are you?”

“Byleth Eisner.”

“The Ashen Demon. Your company's supposed to be staying out of the war. Unless you want to change that, we have no business together.”

“It’s about your daughter. This is going to sound strange…”

Jeralt turned to look at Byleth, arching an eyebrow.

“…but I can see the future. If your daughter remains here, she will die in the nearby battle.”

A half lie. Sothis had shown him a vision of Bernadetta. He had recognised her, even as the flames on the hill roared around her. She was firing arrows in a panicked state. Kingdom and Alliance forces had surrounded her. A woman with pale white hair pulled at him to go, begged him to leave, flames consuming her as she fought-

Byleth doubled over. Leonie ran to his side to support him as he clutched the saddle of Jeralt’s horse. The vision was as unsettling now as it was this morning.

“Are you quite well?” Under a layer of fake concern, the irritation in Count Varley’s voice registered with Jeralt.

“Kid.” Jeralt levelled him with a look. Byleth shook his head, and Jeralt sighed. He was going to lose his share over this. “The kid’s visions are usually right. If he says she’s going to die here, then unless he can stop it, she will.”

“Then stop it.”

“I can’t." Byleth forced himself to look at the count despite his nausea. "She will only survive if she’s not here.”

The group fell silent. Count Varley’s grimace had vanished, a vein pulsing on the side of his head as he massaged his temples. “So what you are trying to say is that you found her, but she can’t stay here.”

“Yes.”

“Do you know who I am? She wouldn’t be safer anywhere else.”

Bernadetta whimpered. Sothis snorted.

“Do you know who we are?” Leonie interjected. “Who would dare to fight us?”

The Count looked at Leonie. Byleth looked at Jeralt. Jeralt looked at Bernadetta. Bernadetta nodded.

“Name your price, Count Varley,” Jeralt said. “Kingdom forces are coming this way. The sooner we’re gone, the sooner she can escape the fighting.”

“Half the original payment. You will return her by the next Ethereal Moon or I will send my army after you, this war be damned.” The Count turned to glare at Bernadetta, who shrank into herself. “Get yourself packed. You’re only going with them because you’re useless to me in a battle.”

“Yes, father.” Supported by Leonie, Bernadetta climbed down from Jeralt’s horse. She began to limp towards the estate, flanked by her father’s guards.

“Leonie, go with her. Get her packed as quick as you can.” Leonie nodded and jogged after the guards.

“Visions of the future. What an absurd idea. I thought all the oracles were part of the Church of Seiros?”

“It’s a common lie.” Jeralt turned to Byleth. “You doing alright, kid?”

“Yeah.” Byleth clutched his head and looked at the Count and Jeralt. “Thank you.”

“You’re paying for her rooms in any inns we stay in.” 

“Okay.”

“And for supplies for her.”

“I will.”

“Good.” At the trudging footsteps, Jeralt and Byleth turned around. “That was quick.”

“You told us to hurry.” Leonie set down a plant pot she was carrying and swung down Bernadetta’s bag from her back. “She wants to bring this thing along.”

“A plant?”

The “plant” popped it’s head out of the pot and smiled at Jeralt.

“Hubert! They’re friends!”

The plant, apparently called Hubert, nodded and made some attempt at waving at them with one of its leaves.

“Hubert?”

“I-I named him after someone at the Monastery.” Bernadetta looked away from them in embarrassment. The plant grinned.

“The plant has teeth.” Hubert started to hop around Jeralt. “And it moves faster than a mage.”

Sothis hummed in Byleth’s head. “What a strange and mysterious plant.”

“ _You’re telling me._ ”

“Alright.” Jeralt shook his head and picked up the plant, wincing as it licked him. “The plant comes with. Kid, you’re paying for any plant stuff it needs.” Jeralt gave half the payment to the Count and climbed back on his horse. “Get Bernadetta up here. Byleth, take Hubert. Leonie, watch the rear.”

“Thank you, Count,” Byleth said as he took the plant from Jeralt. The Count only frowned and walked away.

“Where to next, Captain?” Leonie said as she lifted Bernadetta, now clad in warmer clothing, up onto the horse.

“Alliance territory. Neither the Empire nor the Kingdom have declared war on the Alliance yet, so we should be safe there.”

“Then let's get going!” Leonie passed Bernadetta's bag up to her and took a few steps backwards.

"Thank you for saving her," Sothis said. She yawned. “Wake me when you need me.”

Byleth said nothing. He looked at Hubert, who had nestled itself back into its pot and somehow started snoring.

_I wish I could sleep like you all are sleeping._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did warn that this would have elements of crack. 
> 
> Hubert is based off of the Piranha Plant from Mario, but particularly the one from Super Smash Bros Ultimate.


	4. Contract II: Fhirdiad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time skip!

“We saved her.”

Byleth just barely stopped himself from jumping at Sothis’ voice. “ _What_?” he asked as he looked to see if the noble had noticed.

No. Still blathering on about finding the ideal wife. Information gathering was boring work.

“It is good for you that I can also listen too.” At Byleth’s glare, she carried on. “We saved her this time.”

Byleth stifled a yawn. The noble didn’t notice that too. “ _This time_?” He twisted his head around in a vain attempt to work out the kinks in his neck. “ _We didn’t before_?”

“You do not remember?” Byleth’s mental shrug gave her the same answer it had the last twenty-six times she had asked him. “How can you not remember?”

“ _You always ask that, yet you’re the one who remembers_.” Genuine annoyance flickered onto Byleth’s face for the first time in half a year. “ _Tell me what I’m supposed to remember, child_.”

“I am not a child.” The huffy look on Sothis’ face said otherwise. “You don’t remember anything at all?”

“ _Other than that Enbarr song, no_.”

“You would remember that.”

“ _Is there a point to this_?”

“Yes, but you can’t remember.” Sothis yawned. “All this arguing has tired me out. Away with you.”

Byleth sighed and returned his attention to the noble in front of him. It seemed like he’d finally finished talking about his father, nothing but pointless drivel. His father was an Alliance lord, not affiliated with the Kingdom. That wouldn’t help their current mission at all.

Right, their current mission.

They’d been sought out by one Felix Hugo Fraldarius. Rumours of a potential coup d’état had been swirling around the remote reaches of the Kingdom… pretty much since the start of the war? Supplies being moved in the dead of night. Secret letters being burnt, all that usual stuff. The nobility had found out. There was an argument between Prince Dimitri and their client. Now Felix had hired them to investigate the matter.

“You realise we’re a mercenary company,” Jeralt had said in the meeting between them. “We fight, we don’t spy on people.”

“I’m not asking you to spy. Any information that can help me find out who could be a danger to the Prince is fine. You have contacts. Use them.”

Jeralt had agreed, and the price had been settled. Leonie and Bernadetta had headed out into the wilderness to hunt to bring in some extra gold. Jeralt had gone to see an old friend.

And he was stuck talking to some Alliance noble. He had a knack for getting people to talk, according to his father. Pah. Old fart probably didn’t want to pay his tab.

"…but I must ask, a skilled warrior as yourself must have an allegiance to someone. Might I inquire as to who that is?" Said noble, Lorenz, turned on his most charming smile...

...which dropped like a bag of rocks when Byleth answered. "My father, Jeralt Eisner." He returned to his meal, paying no attention to the spluttering noble across from him.

"The Blade Breaker himself? Is your father?" Lorenz chuckled, relief crossing his face as he came to some sort of conclusion. "Oh, a joke. Pardon me, I didn't realise-"

"I wasn't joking. Where my father goes, I go. And he works for whoever will pay us." Byleth paused to take a drink, internally smiling at how Lorenz's jaw hung slack. "So long as they don't send us to fight in the war between the Kingdom and the Empire."

"...you really are Jeralt's son?"

By Cichol's cock, did this man not listen? "Yes, I am the son of Jeralt. Do you have work for us?"

“I do not currently have need of a band of mercenaries-“

“Then that is all.” Byleth stood up from the table he’d been seated at and turned to leave-

Huh.

A man, wrapped in a cloak with his hood up. A letter in his hand, such fancy handwriting! Byleth’s

nerves tingled with suspicion. Two nobles in a tavern near the entrance to Fhirdad? At night?

How intriguing. “ _Sothis.”_

“I am going! Wait for my call.” Byleth picked up the plate and mug from the table he had been sat at and brought it over to the counter. Thanked them for the meal. Sent thanks to the chef.

“Byleth!”

He turned towards the door. The man had vanished. Byleth set off at a quick but reasonable pace out, the chill of the air stinging at his cheeks as he walked.

“This way. Through the backstreets!” Byleth sidestepped down an alleyway and kept walking. Steps turned to silence. Sothis was tracking his prey. He needed to not startle them.

“He’s stopping.” Down a left, hidden in the shadows. Byleth pressed himself against a wall, waited for Sothis to speak again.

“They’re coming into the alley you’re in!

Byleth moved, quickly yet quietly. Around the corner. Pressed against the wall. Two sets of echoing footsteps follow him in.

“Letter for you. From our friends in the South.”

“I can see that.” The rustling of paper followed the tinkling of gold. “Here’s the payment. Ensure your master gets her share.” A single set of footsteps trailed away from the alley. Byleth took his chance and slowly crept around the corner.

“Now to get this back to-wumfff?!”

They fought. Clawed. Bit. It wasn’t enough. Never is. Byleth deposited the unconscious body on the floor of the alley, rifled through their pockets to retrieve a wallet. Some jewelry. Made it look like a general mugging. Then he left, Sothis returning to him as he made his way down the back streets.

“I do not condone mugging, regardless of who they are-“

“If we didn’t take his things, it would be obvious what we were after.” His old mentor had made that clear. Never make your target obvious or you will tip off other parties. Always make it look like a regular mugging, in big cities it becomes nigh on impossible to find the thief.

Well. Aside from the time his mentor got caught stealing from Jeralt.

Byleth shoved everything into various pockets. He cast a healing spell as he stepped out into the light, walking past the tavern he had been in earlier on his way to the inn. The other noble was still there, talking to a lady. He didn’t seem like a threat. Just obnoxious. Not a threat.

The inn came within sight. Jeralt was outside. “Father,” he greeted him. “I found something.”

“Good.” Jeralt gestured for him to go into the inn. They greeted the innkeeper and headed up to their room. “Leonie and Bernadetta got back a while ago. What took you so long?”

“Noble from the Alliance wouldn’t stop talking to me.” Byleth sighed as Jeralt closed the door. “But I did find this.”

“A letter.” Jeralt pulled out a hunting knife (why he didn’t just ask Byleth for his new pen knife, he didn’t know) and opened the letter. “Hm… This matches up with what I found out.”

“What does it say?”

Jeralt’s voice dropped to a hushed tone. “The Empire will back the coup d’état.”

“So it is really happening?”

“It would seem so. Aile mentioned she was being hired for a job by someone called Cornelia.” The disgusted grimace on Jeralt’s face said that he still hadn’t forgiven her. “Given her preference for assassination work…”

Nothing more needed to be said. “What do we do?”

Jeralt sighed, rubbing his face in exhaustion. “You’re going to have to sneak into Cornelia’s room to get evidence of her coup.”

Might as well have told him to steal the Prince’s new horse. That would’ve been easier. “And how do I do that? The palace is locked up tighter than my coin purse.”

“I don’t know. Let me think about it.”

“I might be able to help you with getting around the palace…”

“ _…but even you can’t do anything about the number of guards in there_.” Byleth ran a hand through his hair. “ _Do your memories have anything about the palace?”_

“ _Your_ memories. And no. But it is nice that the city isn’t on fire this time.”

“ _On fire…? Never mind. I don’t want to know._ ”

“It is for the best. That was… a horrific experience for you.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Side scene with references to the original Resident Evil's... less than stellar voice acting.

It had been a simple task when they had been told what to do. Jeralt and Byleth had to go talk to people, so they needed to do something for a while. Leonie had suggested hunting. Seemed easy enough, Bernadetta could just spot for her while staying out of sight in a tree.

She didn’t exactly account for this though.

“Leonie? What’s this?”

“It’s a weapon! It’s really powerful, especially against living things!” The goofy grin on Leonie’s face as she held out the bow and a quiver of arrows only confused her further.

“Oh. Uh… thank you…” Bernadetta reluctantly took the bow and quiver from Leonie. Why was she being given a bow? She couldn’t hunt! “What about you?”

The goofy grin grew larger, and she pulled her spear off her back. “I have THIS.”

Bernadetta’s face went completely blank. Then she panicked and notched an arrow. “I know what you’re planning! You want to fight me! I don’t wanna fight!”

The grin slid off Leonie’s face and she raised her hands placatingly. “No, Bernadetta. I don’t want to fight. It was just a thing Captain Jeralt used to say.”

Unfortunately, Leonie forgot she still had her spear in her hand, and Bernadetta turned to flee into the forest, yelling about how she didn’t want to fight-only to trip over Hubert and land face first in the grass.

“Ow….”

“You okay, Bernadetta?” Leonie stepped to the side of the girl, Hubert hopping over to stand next to his master.

Apparently, Hubert was a boy.

Bernadetta started to whine and pathetically claw at the dirt in front of her. “Just leave me here. Let me bury myself in the ground…” Hubert nipped at her fingers, making her sit up and yelp in pain again. “Hubert! Why?” she muttered as she checked her fingers. The plant waved a leaf around and grinned at her. “You jerk. I’ll hunt, but you better not leave my side!”

The plant was more convincing that she was. Leonie was confused but didn’t say anything. If it meant Bernadetta was hunting, it was fine by her. She moved to follow after Bernadetta, until movement out of the corner of her eye stopped her.

A rabbit. A big, juicy rabbit, lovely brown fur, sniffing away at the ground beneath it. That’ll fetch a good price. Leonie put her spear away and pulled her own mini-bow from off of her shoulder and notched an arrow, pulling the string taunt as she prepared to fire. Bit back a curse as the bow creaked.

The rabbit took notice of the noise and turned to face Leonie. Its eyes grew wide and its ears drew back as it realised what was about to happen. And for a moment, it almost looked at Leonie with pleading in its eyes. As if it was begging-

Leonie’s arrow put an end to that. A pang of regret sat in her stomach as she walked over to the corpse of the rabbit, eyes fixed open in fear. “Thank the goddess for this gift,” she muttered as she removed the arrow from the rabbit. She closed the creature’s eyes before picking it up and hoisting it over her shoulder. Wouldn’t be as much as a moose, but any gold was better than none.

Now to find where Bernadetta had gone. Hubert had left plant pot sized indents in the ground where he had hopped, so it was a simple case of tracking the footprints (potprints?) of Hubert to find where Bernadetta had gone.

And find her she did, surrounded by several dead birds, two of them charred.

“Bernadetta?”

“Ah! Oh, Leonie.”

“What happened here?” Leonie could count… three, five, eight birds? Not counting the two burnt corpses. “Did you hunt all of these?”

“Was I not supposed to? They were so low and slow!” The birds looked common. They’d get a decent amount for them.

But why were they burnt? “Yeah, we were. But you can use fire magic?”

“No…”

“How did some of them get burnt?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Try me?”

“Well... Hubert used some sort of fire magic.” Leonie looked at her sceptically. “I knew you wouldn’t believe me!”

Leonie went to say something, but Hubert interrupted her by waving at them. Then he fired a fireball at a passing bird, nailing it and bringing it to the ground.

“...the plant can shoot fire?” Leonie asked as Hubert wriggled his leaves in celebration.

“Yeah. I think it’s something his species of flower can do. I’ve never seen any other plants do this.”

  
“Bernadetta, where exactly did you find Hubert?”

“In the greenhouse! When we were at Garreg Mach. The greenhouse keeper was getting rid of him.”

The plant had teeth and could spit fireballs at people. No wonder. “So they let you keep him?”

“Well, no, but Hubert used to escape a lot…”

“And you’d have to go after him.”

“Yeah. So they let me keep him, since he’d make sure I went to class and meals.” Bernadetta started to pick up the birds she had shot down. Plucked the arrows from their chests and placed them into a sack she had around her waist.

“Isn’t Hubert from your class of Black Eagles?”

“Yes…?” Bernadetta regarded her warily.

“How come you named your plant after him?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“That’s fine.” Leonie prodded one of the burnt birds with her foot. “We should be able to get something out of these. Not much though.”

“I’m sorry,” Bernadetta said, and Hubert lowered his head beneath his leaves.

“It’s fine.” Leonie picked up the bird and inspected it. The feathers were worthless, singed and frayed as they were. The skin wasn’t too badly damaged. Probably could sell the meat for a little gold. She stored it in her pouch, attached the rabbit to her belt to free her other hand to help Bernadetta to gather up the birds she had shot down.

With all the birds gathered, Leonie dusted off her hands. “Good work Bernadetta. The birds-“

The rustling of a nearby bush made both girls ready their weapons. Arrows nocked, bowstrings taunt, they watched the bush warily as it shook, before an armoured Faerghus mare trotted out.

A horse?

Wait.

“Dorte?”

“Dorte?” Bernadetta regarded the horse in surprise. “Who’s Dorte?”

“That horse. He belonged to one of the Golden Deer in my year.”

“Why is he here? What if he’s spying on us?!”

“Then ask him.”

“What?” Bernadetta looked at Leonie like she’d grown a second head. “Ask Dorte?”

“Sure.” Leonie turned away from Bernadetta and walked towards Dorte, slinging her bow back over her shoulder. “Hey Dorte! Where’s your master?”

Dorte snorted, neighing gently as Leonie patted his nose. The horse turned away and trotted back into the bush. “Come on, Bernadetta!” Leonie called as she set off after Dorte.

Oh no. Oh nonononononononono. “Leonie, wait!” Bernadetta slung her bow back and set off into the bush, Hubert hopping after her as fast as his plant pot would go. “It might be a trap-ahhh!”

Curse these trees and their roots! Bernadetta stumbled as she ran through the bushes. Her foot caught on a root as she went, sending her crashing out into open ground on her face. “Owwwww…. No more bushes! I can never see where I’m go…ing…”

Dorte stood ahead of her, facing away. Kneeling next to an injured, whimpering dog was Leonie. On the other side, a woman with short blue hair had a bandage in her hands. Eyes closed, mouth moving in some sort of prayer before she started winding it around the dog’s paw. Bernadetta picked herself up and slowly, carefully, approached the two.

“…bandages should help if we wrap it around his paw.” Leonie was saying. “What happened here, Marianne?”

“I do not know. This fellow wandered out in front of Dorte while we were leaving. It was a lot worse before I healed him.”

“Good. Then I think he will be okay. Good work, Marianne.”

“Thank you, but it was nothing.” The girl, Marianne, looked down, a frown tinging her face. “There you go. You should be all good now, okay?”

The dog barked, and Marianne and Leonie both petted the dog. A twig snapped beneath Bernadetta’s foot, drawing the attention of both girls to her.

Oh no.

“Hey Bernadetta.” Leonie gave her a friendly wave. “Dorte was looking for someone to help Marianne.”

“I am sorry to trouble you, Leonie-“

“It was nothing. Just glad this little guy’s okay now.”

“I see.” Marianne’s attention was drawn past Leonie, to the rabbit that hung from her hip. “You were hunting before.”

Leonie’s smile faded slightly. “Yeah, I was. Sorry, Marianne, we didn’t know-“

“Don’t apologise. You shouldn’t worry about my feelings.” Marianne stood up and walked over to Dorte. “I must be going. Thank you for your aid, Leonie.” She paused briefly, staring past Bernadetta at Hubert. “Bernadetta?”

Bernadetta’s eyes shot open in alarm. “What? Who? How do you know my name?!”

“Leonie said it before.”

“Oh… right…”

“Your plant loves you very much. Please, take good care of him.” Marianne climbed on top of Dorte and settled herself on his saddle before Dorte set off trotting away from them.

“Leonie?”

“Yeah?”

“Who was that?”

“That was Marianne. She’s a damn good healer.” Leonie turned to Bernadetta with a grin. “We should get these back to the market before it closes.”

Bernadetta nodded but didn’t move after Leonie as she set off towards the city again.

She looked at Hubert. She wondered how Marianne understood him without seeing him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bigish chapter.

A relatively old sign creaked as it swung on the rail it was attached to. Etched upon it in fine, somewhat literate lettering was the words “Saint Seiros’ Tavern’”.

_What an unoriginal name,_ Leonie mused as she walked into the building. She’d seen no less than six different places called Saint Seiros’ Tavern in their trek across the Kingdom. Captain Jeralt had refused to set foot in four of them. The other two had been somewhat okay. Run down places with terrible wine and even worse food. The locals had given them a wide berth, left them to drink. Byleth had covered Jeralt’s tab.

Now she was in the seventh one she had found. It wasn’t even a tavern, more of a pub, if Bernadetta was correct. It’d taken some time for her to get used to them. She still wasn’t. But every so often, she’d pipe up with a comment, accompanied by a thousand apologies, that would end up being useful. Like the differences between a tavern, an inn and a pub. Apparently, they’d been taught it back at Garreg Mach. Leonie didn’t remember that lesson.

But that had been over two years ago. Goddess, those were the days…

“Can I get you somethin’?”

Leonie was drawn back from her thoughts as the bartender approached her. “Cheapest thing you have.”

“Comin’ up.”

Leonie took a seat and looked around. A bunch of men and women, some drunk, others still sober. One on her right, pounding down drink after drink. Another on her left, glaring at her as he sipped his own ale.

Surroundings, check.

“Here’s your drink. That’ll be 10 gold pieces.”

  
“Thank you.” Leonie gave the gold over to him and took a sip of her drink. It tasted weak. None of the kickback or burn she’d gotten used to expecting. Maybe it was just a local special or something. She continued to nurse her drink as she watched the people in the bar. The speed drinker was starting to get crabby, snapping at his friend when they tried to take his drinks away. The glarey one had moved closer to her. His eyes were focussed on her.

Potential spark, check.

Leonie finished her drink and waved to the bartender to get her another.

“Hey, you.”

The man with the glare shoved her shoulder. Unbridled hatred rippled across his face as he spoke. “The bartender will be with you soon, just relax,” Leonie told him as she looked at him with annoyance.

“I don’t like you.” The glare guy (Glarey? Glarey) seemed to be even more angry now than he was before.

Oh great. Well, play her cards right and… “I’m sorry,” Leonie said, turning back to her empty glass.

“You just watch yourself. I am a wanted man. I am wanted dead in over 12 cities here in the Kingdom.”

Why in the names of the Four Saints would you announce that in the middle of a pub? Leonie mentally shook her head “I’ll be careful.”

“You’ll be dead!”

“Look, I’m sorry, I just came here for a drink,” Leonie explained as she took a few steps back. “Just leave me alone.”

Glarey tried to shove her. She sidestepped. Stuck her foot out. Glarey tripped over her foot enough to shove the heavy drinker, knocking his drinks over.

“What do you think you’re playing at?" Heavy Drinker snarled. "I’ve worked hard for that!”

“Who are you getting like that with?”

“Who do you think you are?”

“Who do I think-" Glarey narrowed his eyes. "I’ll show you who I am, little man!"

“Little man?! No one takes the piss outta me!”

Fists were thrown. Someone tried to swing a chair at the heavy drinker and struck someone else. Their wife yelled and jumped them, whaling on them before the first man’s wife tackled them off.

Tavern brawl, check.

They should make these kinds of plans more often.

…

“Byleth needs to do what?!”

Jeralt held a finger to his lips, and Bernadetta stammered out an apology. “Byleth needs to get into the palace. The letter he took confirmed there’s a plot to overthrow the current leadership of the Kingdom. One of our old traveling companions gave us a name. Byleth is the only one out of us trained to sneak around somewhere we shouldn’t be.”

“So I have to go into the palace. One of the most heavily guarded places in the Kingdom.” Byleth rolled his neck as he turned to Leonie and Bernadetta. “And we need to draw attention away from the palace’s left wing.”

“Draw attention?” Bernadetta’s eyes flickered frantically between them all. “Nonono, I don’t want to draw attention!”

“Don’t worry, Bernadetta. We’ve done this before.” Leonie offered her a proud smile as she spoke. “Right, Captain?”

“This isn’t the first time we’ve done something like this,” Jeralt said. “Leonie will be going to a few different pubs and starting brawls. That will draw some of the guards away from their posts. I will be holding a drinking session with some of the knights to draw a lot of the others away in the right wing, and Byleth will sneak in the left wing during all of this.”

““There will be a sparring session between the other mercenaries and some of the guards.” Byleth crossed his arms and looked at their newest addition. ”But I’ll be relying on you, Bernadetta.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you. You’ll be hiding near the left wing. If you see any guards approaching it, I’ll need you to distract them.”

“I don’t know if I can…”

“It’ll be easy. Just say you are lost and have them guide you back to the inn we’re staying in.”

“Hubert is a rare plant, so we can place him somewhere to draw attention on his own, so long as you are fine with that.” The knowing glance Jeralt sent her way made her think. At the very least, she didn’t need to worry about doing this wrong, right? It was just drawing the attention of some people, not facing the Death Knight!

Hubert nodded his head in agreement. No way was she letting Hubert go out there alone!

“I’ll try!”

…

Oh Bernie, what did you get yourself into?

Byleth had stole into the palace a while ago, and here she was, hiding in a bush by the entrance. A bunch of guards had left the palace and headed into the city in a hurry, probably to settle one of the pub brawls Leonie had started. The idea of being stuck in the middle of a fight between a lot of drunk people was terrifying, why would Leonie agree to do such a thing?

Hubert had hopped off somewhere to cause a distraction, leaving her alone. Shivering, she pulled her cloak tighter around her and waited. You can do this, Bernie. You can do this!

…

The door opened without a hitch. Byleth gave the corridor a quick look around before closing the door behind him. No offices or bedrooms here. He spotted a nearby column and began to scale it.

“Do you know what you are even looking for?” Sothis asked as he climbed.

_“The map Shamir provided showed it to be the third room along the fourth corridor on the second floor. I need to get up there to avoid being spotted by any wandering guards or inhabitants.”_ Byleth grabbed onto a ledge and shimmed across to one of the roof’s support beams. He pulled himself up and dusted off his hands. Pulled out the map again. Under the moon’s glow, the magical incantation Byleth had placed on it showed him where he was. A useful spell, one he was willing to thank Sothis for.

“You’re welcome. That one took a long time to perfect.”

Byleth deigned to ignore her. Still on the first floor. One more floor to climb. He put the map back in his pocket-

The door creaked open. Byleth froze. Mentally recited a prayer that he would not be seen.

A blob of orange hair passed under where he was hiding, humming to herself as she carried a tray full of delicious looking cakes. One of the servants? No, dressed more like a traveller. Why did was- no wait. Why was a traveller carrying around a tray full of cakes?

“Byleth.”

Right. The mission. Byleth waited until the person had left the hallway before carefully navigating his way along the support beams. “ _Where did she get those cakes from?_ ”

“Focus on the mission, Byleth.”

_“I am, I am. But we’re going by the pantry and seeing if there are any more cakes left once we’re done here.”_

“No. You’re a mercenary, not a thief. Just get the documents.”

_“And as a mercenary, it can be part of the payment for this job. The prince won’t miss a cake or two.”_

Sothis sighed in his head. “Can you think of others for a moment?”

Byleth paused. Thought. _“You’re right. I’ll grab some for the Captain and the girls.”_

“That is not what I meant, and you know it!”

…

Ack! Two guards were walking towards the left wing! Come on, Bernie… You can do this!

The bushes rustled as Bernadetta, with all her courage, stumbled out of the bush towards the guards. “Um… excuse me…”

“Halt! Who goes there!”

Eep! “I-I’m sorry!” she squeaked as she stopped. “I-I got myself all turned around a-a-and saw a scary man go past and I-“

“Calm down.” One of the guards lowered themselves down to appear less threatening. “Where were you headed?”

“Back to the inn I was staying at. The B-Boar Inn.”

“Right. I’ll guide you back there. You, check for the scary man. Which way did he go?”

Oh no. Think Bernie, think! “Uh… t-that way,” she said, pointing towards the right wing of the palace. The other guard nodded and walked towards the palace, leaving Bernadetta and the other guard behind.

“Come. It is not safe for a woman to be out on her own.” Bernadetta nodded and began to follow the guard, turning her head away to hide a surprised smirk as they went.

_That worked. That really worked!_ Bernadetta thought, biting back a relieved giggle. _Good job, Bernie._

…

Second floor, fourth hallway. Now to find the third room.

Byleth closed the door after him. Made his footsteps as light as possible. Crept past the first door. Then the second. _“There’s the third.”_ Byleth tested the door. Locked. Guess Fraldarius couldn’t leave everything unlocked. Byleth fished out the lockpick from his pocket and set to work.

“You’re turning it the wrong way.”

_“No. I’m turning it the right way.”_

“I can see the lock beginning to break. Turn it the other way.”

_“No.”_

“I’m telling you-“ The lock clicked. Byleth pushed the door, and it slowly swung open. “Oh. It appears I was wrong.”

_“What was it you were wanting to tell me?”_

“You mortals are insufferable.”

“ _And you even more so.”_ Byleth ignored Sothis’ return jab and made his way into the room.

And by the Four Saints, this place was _barren._ Not a single painting or a banner anywhere. Just a single candle that hadn’t been lit yet, a bed that looked like it hadn’t been touched in a month. The dust layer covering it might as well have paid taxes. “Are you sure this is the right room?”

“There you are.”

Byleth spun around and drew his knife. “ _Sothis, you were supposed to be keeping watch!”_

“You’re Jeralt’s kid, right?”

This wasn’t good. This was not good at all. “ _Sothis!”_

“Hold on!” Byleth’s vision projected forwards, following Sothis as she moved up close to the stranger. Got a good look at them. “It’s Shamir!”

“Shamir?” Byleth asked. “Why are you here?”

“I figured the incidents were your group’s doing. Thought you’d be here. Felix asked me to pass on a message.”

“Make it quick.” Byleth’s tone grew grumpy. She was wasting time talking to him, either arrest him or let him go. “I still need to finish my job here.”

“Aile was captured. Goetia Company’s actions got her to move quicker, and she was intercepted by the Knights of Seiros before she could assassinate the Grand Duke. Give any suspicious documents you find to me and your father will be set free tomorrow.”

“Father?” Byleth blinked. “What did you do to the Captain?”

“He’s in the dungeons sobering up. His drinking contest got out of hand.” Shamir shrugged. “He’s not done anything wrong, but some of the knights he was drinking with got rowdy.”

“Right.” Damn that man and his drinking habits. He’d make sure he wasn’t getting his cut. “Hand me your lantern.” Byleth carefully swung it around to light up the room, searching for- “Aha.”

“What?”

“Locked chest.” Byleth sheathed his dagger and drew out his lockpick. “You don’t lock a chest if you want something to be found.” He turned his attention to the lock, and inwards to Sothis. “ _We were very lucky it was someone who wanted to find us. You have one job. One. Do it next time,”_ he hissed as he worked.

“Perhaps if you had listened instead of ignoring me, she wouldn’t have snuck up on you. I tried to warn you.”

 _“No you didn’t.”_ Click. Byleth lifted the lid and peered inside. Stacks upon stacks of letters were hidden inside of it. Now that looked suspicious! “There’s a lot of letters in here.”

“Those will do.” Shamir took the lantern back from Byleth and stood by the chest. “Now go. You’ll be paid tomorrow.”

“Good.” Byleth sidestepped Shamir and walked out of the room.

“And now we can go.”

_“No.”_

“No?”

_“We’re going to raid the pantry. I deserve a reward after that heart attack.”_

…

Tavern number three had produced an impressive show.

Leonie didn't want to know how one of the men had managed to get put through the swinging sign. Poor man was still up there as she made her escape, hurling rude words at two others who were trying to drag a crate over to him. A few others were charging at each other with bar stools. Two were dancing together, a third was chugging down strewn about glasses of ale.

She could _never_ come back here though, which was a shame. The drinks here had been amazing. Leonie made her way through the crowd, ducking into a side alley. She continued to walk down the alleys away from the fighting, making her way towards the inn-

“Leonie!”

Bernadetta appeared out of nowhere! Leonie whirled to face the younger girl. “What’s up, Bernadetta?”

“I found Hubert, but he’s in a crowd of people. There’s too many!”

“What do you mean, too many?” Surely it can’t be that bad? Leonie stepped past Bernadetta to peer out of the alleyway. Hubert was there, the crowd wasn’t too big. What was the problem?

Oh.

Ohhhh.

Hubert was… making some attempt at dancing? He had some sort of cane in one leaf and was… moving his stalk around?

“Bernadetta…” Leonie began. “What am I looking at?”

“I don’t know, I’m sorry! He got that umbrella thing from somewhere…”

So that’s what the cane thing was. But how in Seiros' name was Hubert lifting himself and his whole plant pot up on one leaf? And why on earth was he holding some sort of umbrella in his other leaf?

Why could he hold an umbrella twice his size?

Leonie had seen enough. She crept back into the alley, pretending she hadn't seen Bernadetta’s pet plant doing some sort of exotic dance. “I’m sure he’ll be fine. Come on, the Captain will be waiting for us at the inn.”

…

“O’ merry knight, O’merry child, watch the stars tonight,” Jeralt sang from his cell, his tone-deaf voice marred by drunken slurring. “O’ dear knight, O’ dear child, walk your road tonight…”

…

_“Here we are.”_

“Byleth, this is a stupid idea.”

 _“And?”_ Byleth closed the door behind him and made a beeline for the pantry door. _“You said to think of the others.”_

“Do not twist my words against me! You are a mercenary! Not a thief!”

 _“Why is it locked?”_ Byleth tried the pantry door again. Locked. Locked! _“Of all the things to lock…”_

“Take it as a sign from the goddess to stop with this pointless endeavour!”

“ _No. I’ll pick it. Keep watch.”_

“Will you just-“

 _“Keep. Watch.”_ Byleth fished out the lockpick from his pocket and began trying to unlock the door.

Sothis sat down on a counter. “This is pointless.”

_“You’re pointless.”_

“I beg your pardon? Who gets us all out of disaster after disaster?”

_“You.”_

“Therefore, I am not pointless, and I demand you cease this futile effort and leave!”

 _“No. I want cake._ ”

“You do not even like cake!”

_“That’s not the point.”_

“Wha-“ Sothis let out a frustrated groan. “You mortals are frustration incarnate.”

_“You chose to stay here. You could sleep.”_

“And leave you to wander alone? You would end up in the dungeons without me!”

_“At least the Captain wouldn’t nag me so much. Byleth, don’t do this. Byleth, don’t do that. Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag. You sound like a mother.”_

“Well excuse me for-“ The door was creaking, why was it creaking?

No. It wasn’t the pantry door that was creaking.

Sothis turned her head to the side. The door they came in through was open. Someone was coming in!

"Byleth..."

 _"Not now. This door is being more of a pain than you are."_ Byleth continued to try and pick the door's lock, biting back a frustrated growl as his lockpick snapped. _"It wouldn't have killed him to leave a few doors unlocked, would it?"_

"Byleth!"

_"What?”_

"Behind you!"

Byleth saw the shadow fall over him, realised he'd been snuck up on. Quick as a flash of lightning, he drew his dagger and spun around.

Bright emerald eyes greeted him. A look of surprise etched on them as his blade stabbed into the side of her head, killing her instantly.

"NO!"

The world pulsed, and Byleth was facing the door again. "You can't kill her, Byleth!"

_"She shouldn't be sneaking up on me then!"_ Byleth whirled with a frustrated growl, striking the woman with his hand. "Don't you know better than to sneak up on someone?" he snarled.

"We need to leave! Now!"

 _"No! I want-"_ Byleth's thoughts were cut off as the woman punched him back. Rubbing his jaw, he glared at her. "Fine. I'll make you regret doing that."

And thus the brawl began. Byleth feinted a right, struck left. The woman stumbled backwards in brief surprise, recovered quickly. Threw a right. Byleth feigned right, moved left again. She didn’t get the read, stumbled into another blow. “Didn’t your instructors teach you how to brawl?” he snapped as he took advantage of her lowered guard to force her backwards. _“Sothis, who is this person?”_

“Ingrid Brandi Galatea!”

_“Ingrid?”_ Weren’t they hired to escort her and someone else last year? “Are you Ingrid Brandi Galatea?” he asked as he caught both of her wrists in his hands.

“Who are you? How do you know me?”

It was Ingrid! “By the saints, you’ve gotten sloppy,” he grumbled. He crossed her arms together, pulled her close. Drove a headbutt into her nose with a crack. “Yield.”

“Nop.” Ingrid launched herself at him, meeting a knee to the jaw that sent her stumbling backwards.

  
“Yield.”

“Nop!” Ingrid darted forwards before spinning around. Byleth watched in confusion-

Then something pretty smashed him upside the head, and his vision faded to black as he fell.

  
“Byleth!” Sothis yelled.

The world pulsed once more, and Byleth was standing. She spun again. Something gleamed in the moonlight. Byleth reached out, seized it in mid-air, to Ingrid’s surprise. A ornamental emerald hairpiece, tying her hair together. “Nice move. It hurt like hell.” Byleth didn’t give her chance to talk, yanked her forwards. Clubbed her with her hairpiece.

Ingrid fell. Didn’t move. “Check her! If you have killed her…” Sothis warned as Byleth rolled her over. Unconscious, not dead. Still breathing.

_“Stupid girl. Almost got herself killed!”_

_He wasn’t in the kitchen. He was in a medical tent, people bustling around him. The girl, Ingrid, was laid on a bedroll, blood staining her face as he ran pulse after pulse of healing into her._

_“What were you thinking, Ingrid?! You could’ve died!” he hissed as a vicious looking wound began to seal itself up-_

He wasn’t there. He wasn’t there. He was in the kitchen. He wasn’t there. He was in the kitchen with a stranger. _“Sothis, what the hell was that?”_ he asked.

“One of your memories. I didn’t show it you.”

_“Don’t ever let those happen without me asking for them. That could get us both killed.”_ Byleth cradled her face, shot a charge of healing magic to fix her nose. _“There. Now there’s no physical evidence of a fight.”_

“Can we go now?”

_“Yes. Screw the cake.”_

“Finally!”

…

Byleth didn’t know if he should consider it a mercy the Ingrid woman wasn’t here. It would’ve caused some awkward questions, considering their encounter

Nevertheless, they were all here. Bernadetta was doing her best to hide behind him and Leonie. Leonie was stood up straight but stank of ale. Jeralt looked like he’d lost a fight with a Demonic Beast. Hubert was stood proudly in front of Leonie and Bernadetta.

What a ragged bunch they must look like.

“The Kingdom owes their thanks to Goetia Company. The documentation you have recovered confirms our suspicions, and our knights have moved to arrest Cornelia on suspicion of treason.” Grand Duke Rufus spoke from his throne. “Your recent behaviour has been overlooked in return, and your payment will be delivered by Sir Fraldarius.”

“What will become of Cornelia?” Byleth asked.

“Should she be found guilty, she will likely be exiled from the Kingdom and sent back to her Empire.” Seemed good enough for him. “However, her assassin will be executed, as an example to any who wish to assassinate myself or future kings.” Poor Alie. She’d been a good assassin too, but such was the risk of the career they took. Small wonder Jeralt disapproved. “You may take you leave.”

Byleth and the others bowed and walked out of the throne room. Bernadetta was the first to leave, Jeralt staggered out last. “So now what?” Leonie asked. “We find Felix?”

“I’m here.” All five turned to face Felix as he walked towards them, a servant with a cart trailing behind them. “The Grand Duke has moved most of your payment into a vault in the palace for safekeeping.”

“Why?”

“Because you wouldn’t be able to move it around with you.” Felix stood aside to allow the cart to move towards them. “Fifteen thousand gold here, the other hundred and thirty five are in a vault beneath the palace.”

“A hundred and fifty thousand?” Jeralt’s hangover vanished, what a miracle! Who knew gold was such a good cure for them? “That’s…” Jeralt bowed deeply to Felix. “Thank you, Sir Fraldarius.”

“Tch. You did your job. You got paid, there’s nothing to be thankful for.” Felix turned and walked away from them, leaving Jeralt and Leonie to start shovelling the gold into a knapsack to be split later.

Byleth watched them work, seeing no reason to aid them in gathering the gold. Still… a hundred and fifty thousand for stopping an assassination attempt? They needed work like this more often.

He moved to stand near Bernadetta, but of the corner of his eye, he saw something. Something green shimmered in the distance.

Byleth turned. It was a figure. A person. Looking out of a window at him. _“Sothis.”_

“Mhm?” Sothis yawned and stretched. “What is it? I am very tired.”

_“Who’s that?”_

“Who?”

Byleth looked at the window again, but the figure was gone. Huh. Perhaps it was a figment of his imagination.

But this mission was a success. Now to continue towards the Alliance territories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I find myself inspired I'll come back to this but here you go. Hopefully you enjoyed it!


End file.
